Soothe My Pain
by Countess Impossible
Summary: Sam has no soul and he left Dean alone. Can Castiel save him?
1. A Part of You

_A quick note. I apologize in advance for this being short but I couldn't bring myself to add to it. The next chapter will be longer I promise. Also I typed this on my phone with no spellcheck. Ignore any typos that I missed. This is for Reiuki. I hope you enjoy it._

Chapter 1: A Part of You.

The bed in the grungy motel room was the furthest thing from comfortable as could be. The floor was probably softer but he couldn't bring himself to move from his sitting position at the head of the bed to the floor thanks to his drinking binge. After sitting there for hours he simply did not care anymore. There was too much Hunter's Helper in his system to care about anything which is exactly where he wanted to be. Numb. He hardly noticed that his legs were starting to fall asleep from his cross-legged position and lack of movement.

Dean Winchester took another drink from the half empty, half gallon, bottle of Black Velvet in his hand. It was not his drink of choice but it was cheap. He hadn't given much thought about what to get when he walked in the liquor store. It was what caught his attention so it was what he brought home. It tasted like ass but it got the job done. Another bottle, this one empty, sat on the floor beside him. With everything that was going on he deserved a little numb.

With Sam being soulless was bad enough but when Dean found out about the Campbell's and their shoot first as questions later outlook and secrecy it got much worse. Samuel was taking advantage of Sam being a robot to kill anything that might be a threat not caring who got in his way. Nobody was really sure about what was going on with them and Sam wasn't talking about it- not that it mattered when even with a soul his brother was the best liar he knew. There was no way he could trust anything the man said now. That is where he was, Dean knew it. With the Campbell's. His family. Dean took another drink. They weren't his family Dean was the only family he had left not counting Bobby. Samuel only cared that he didn't have to do his own dirty work.

How many lives had been lost at the hand of his younger brother as he did Samuel's bidding? How many more would die because Samuel told him to? The thought ate him up inside. He took another drink to drown his feelings.

Dean wanted to get the hell out of Dodge, leave Sam with his so called family but he knew he wouldn't. He had nowhere to go and he couldn't bring himself to leave without him. He briefly thought about Lisa and Ben but drowned the thought with more whiskey. It would be dangerous to be around them with his job. Ben had already been kidnapped once before he wouldn't let it happen again, nor would he let something happen to Lisa. She wouldnt be like what happened to Karen, Jess, and his mother. No it was safer away from them. He could always go to Bobby's but he didn't want to be a burden on the older hunter. He had other things to worry about other than the boys fighting again. Dean had never felt so alone. He couldn't even talk to Castiel thanks to the war in Heaven. There was nothing left to do but drink.

When the bottle was empty he threw it against the wall in front of him. Damn it! He wasn't feeling numb anymore, instead he was only getting angry. When was he going to catch a break? When was the universe going to say " okay Dean, I'm done screwing you over. Enjoy your happiness"? What had happened to swearing to stop hunting after killing Azazle? Why did bad things have to happen to the Winchesters?

Forcing his legs to move he wiggled his way down the bed far enough to lay down. Hopefully sleep would keep the pain away for a little while. He prayed that the nightmares of Hell didn't come and make things worse since apparently drinking the pain away was no longer an option.

After the feeling in his legs came back Dean began to count. 1... 2... 3... on and on till 392 when he finally fell into unconsciousness.

...

The midnight sky was alive with stars. Comets flew across the sky in bright arches with no clouds obscuring his view. Actually, he had a perfect view. There were no trees, buildings, or telephone wires anywhere. Nothing but him, the sky, and the Impala he sat upon. Everything was perfect. He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there, studying the placement of the stars and playing the biggest game of connect the dots, before he remembered reading something somewhere about how the stars were named after angels as well as ancient heros. He wondered which one was Castiel.

"Hello, Dean." The familiar gravely voice snapped the hunter out of his thoughts. Castiel appeared beside him with the sound of fluttering wings.

"Hey Cas. What are you doing here?" He didn't want to sound as if he was accusing the angel of anything but he was surprised to see him. Wasn't he supposed to be fighting in the war?

"The war can wait. I am here to answer your question." Cas looked to the sky as he spoke. In the beginning, when God created Heaven and Earth, on the fourth day he created the stars. What the Bible does not say is that he created them with the Grace of his angels. The star created with my Grace is much to far away to see with the human eye." He looked at Dean, his blue eyes boring into him. "Would you like to see it?"

Dean felt a smile tug at his lips. "Yeah, I would." Reaching out, the angel placed two fingers on the younger man's forehead. The stars and space began rushing at them. Dean tried not to look away but found it difficult as the motion made him feel sick. When everything stopped moving Dean was breathing in short gasps, attempting to keep the nausea at bay.

"This is my star." Dean looked at the new sky before him. The sun that was made from the essence of Castiel had no planets but rings of clouds and smoke surrounding it like the rings of Saturn. It was the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen. He could only stare open mouthed at the vision only he had ever seen.

It was soft, barely heard, but it was said all the same: "It is also yours."

Dean turned to look at the angel beside him. "What are you talking about?"

Cas licked his lips, something he had picked up from the human. "When I raised you from perdition you were broken. Your body from the Hellhounds, your soul from torturing souls and the abuse you had sustained from the years of killing. I could not merge them together with all of the damage so I repaired you." His mouth formed into a tight line.

"Repaired how?" For a moment he thought about angelic duct tape and gorilla glue. He shook the thought away.

Cas tilted his head to the side. "I used my Grace as an adhesive. I put you back together again, Dean. I know every part of you inside and out. Body, soul, and mind." He smiled then, it was small but there all the same.

Dean had no words, his mind blank. It was as if he had list the ability to speak. Castiel chuckled, a sound he had not heard before from the straight faced angel, before bringing his face closer to Dean's. He placed a gentle, chaste, kiss on Dean's lips before pulling away. It lasted only a moment but he could still feel the heat from the angel.

"You are never alone, Dean. I reconstructed you using my very essence. I am a part of you and you a part of me. I am always with you."

Dean sat up in bed. The room was dark but he was sure it was still the same motel room he had fallen asleep in. If it was nothing but a dream then how was it he could still feel the angels lips on his own?


	2. Memories Sustained

_I wanted to thank everyone who read the first chapter! Since nobody told me it sucked I'll keep going. Kindly remember I'm pretty much texting this so any mistakes I overlook I am sorry for. Also the characters decided that they don't want to stick to their show so its getting slightly AU. I hope you enjoy!_

Chapter 2: Memories Sustained

Slowly the days crept along with little change from the day before it. The only constant was Dean's decision to stay sober instead of drinking the the boring days away. He still was not sure if his dream encounter with Castiel was only a dream or if the angel had visited him but it was strangely reassuring. He didn't feel the deep depression of before but he did still feel the sorrow of his younger brother's betrayed. He wasn't saying the part of Cas he carried wasn't enough but it did not fill the void Sam had left.

The younger hunter came back every night, telling Dean lies about how he had spent the day in the local library and hiding his injuries. Dean didn't question it after a few days of this. It was obvious he didn't want his older brother getting involved with whatever it was he was doing with the Campbell's but that made no difference to Dean. Sam was lieing to him again, something he had sworn he would stop doing. With every new lie the void in his chest felt bigger.

The longer they stayed in this random town the more anxious the older hunter got. Sam wasn't letting him hunt, claiming the Campbell's had everything under control. The fight didn't last long before Sam left saying he worked better with them anyway and that they were better hunters than Dean could ever be. He slammed the door leaving Dean alone.

Sam didn't want to hunt with him anymore? Fine. He'd get the hell out of here, find somewhere with some beasty that needed to be ganked and let Sam be with his new family. He sank onto his bed. He knew he wouldn't leave Sam alone with these sonsofbitches. When Sam got his thoughts straight he'd be here.

He put his face in his hands, fighting back tears.

...

The shower felt amazing. The water was close to scalding, turning his skin pink. He couldn't think of anything he would rather do than stand under the burning water. Well... maybe not...

The memory of his dream came to him, every detail sharp in his minds eye. The green grass, the midnight sky full of stars, Cas sitting beside him on the hood of the Impala.

"Hello Dean." Cas saying his name. The hunter placed his hands on the cold tile, allowing the water tattoo itself into his skin.

"Hello Dean." The familiar, deep and gravely, voice repeated his name. The more he heard it in the angel's voice the better it sounded. He could feel his heart steadily beat faster with every time his name was said, attempting to free itself from it's prison.

"The war can wait." For him. Castiel was willing to to put him before the first angelic civil war. Something as insignificant as him came before the fate of Heaven.

He showed the human something no other human had ever seen- a sun created with the Grace of Castiel. He could still see the star as clearly as if he were looking at it again. The bright yellows and orange of the sphere, the reds and purples of the rings surrounding it. The star that was a part of him through the Grace they shared. There was something about that knowledge that made the moment feel so much more intimate than he had originally thought.

Then there was the kiss that they had shared. It was something he had not felt in such a long time. There was a sweetness about it that had nothing to do with inexperience and everything to do with closeness. It had none of the drunken sloppiness he had grown used to or the the desperate need to be touched the girls that he usually picked up oozed from every pore. It had been sweet and innocent... and perfect.

He could feel every breath fighting to escape past the hammering of his heart as he relived through the moment he had shared with his angel even if it was just a dream. He could also feel the unexpected tightness in his groin from the memory. Quickly he turned off the hot water and turned on the cold- fighting through the shock if the drastic temperature change. A few seconds was all he could bare before turning off the water completely ignoring the fact he hadn't washed anything.

What he needed to do was get out of this dump and pick up some random girl from the nearest bar, go back to her place and try to forget the dream. After all that is all it was. A dream nothing more. More than that he needed to prove to himself that he wasnt interested in the angel. Yes that was it! He needed to get out, that was all. Smiling, happy with his new plan, he opened the curtain and nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Damn it Cas! Make some noise!" Dean snatched the towel off of the rack and wrapped it around his waist.

The angel gave him a long sideways look, a wrinkle forming between his brows. "I did not wish to disturb you."

Dean rolled his eyes. "If you would have said something I would have gotten out." Cas continued to stare at him.

"I have come to ask a favor. I am loosing the war. May I stay with you while I rethink my strategy?" He looked slightly uncomfortable and Dean wondered if he had been reading his thoughts while he was in the shower.

"Of course you can, Cas. It's the least I could do after everything you have done for us." He smiled at the angel who didn't return it.

...

Dean was not sure how angels strategized but he had thought there would be charts, maps, and notes but instead he merely sat beside him while the human watched Dr. Sexy MD. It did not appear as if the angel was doing anything other than watching television but he didn't know how the minds of angels worked.

"Hey Cas, can I ask you a question?" Dean asked during a toilet paper commercial. He wanted to ask about the dream that seemed to haunt him but at the last minute thought better of it. Castiel turned to give him all of his attention. "What's going on in Heaven?" The angel looked at his hands for a moment before looking back at the human.

"Raphael... he is killing insubordinate angels." He brought his brows together. "It is all my fault. I taught them about free will and now they are dieing because of it."

Dean couldn't look away from the hurt in the other man's eyes. He saw the guilt from the knowledge his actions were getting his brothers slaughtered. Words failed him. Nothing came to mind on what to say to make his friend feel any better so he did the one thing he could think of. He wrapped his arms around the other's shoulders, pulling him into a hug. Castiel did not move a muscle while he was being hugged. When Dean pulled away Cas slowly, deliberately, said: "thank you, Dean."

_So I lied. This wasn't longer and it felt more like filler... what's done is done I guess. I think I got Castiel's personality down though which is better than last chapter. Anyway thank you for reading._


	3. More Than Just The Truth

_I wanna thank Weridname234 for my first review! I also want to thank everyone who read this so far! It means so much to me!_

_..._

_Chapter 3: More Than Just The Truth_

The first night Castiel had stayed with Dean had him worried. He had never been much of a host, preferring not to be the center of attention, so he was not sure what to do with the angel. What did solders of the Lord do in their spare time? When he voiced his question Cas gave him a small smile. "What is it you would like to do?"

Dean took his friend to a local burger joint. Dean had insisted they take the Impala instead of flying there. Dean was not a fan of 'flashing' from place to place. Cas did not voice any objection as they took the slower mode of transportation.

It was a small place, sparsely decorated with copies of paintings Dean did not know the names of nor the artists. It was a cozy little place, it's occupents were mostly elderly. They sat at a corner booth, beside a wide window looking out onto Main street. They sat across from each other in attempt to appear they did things like this often. The hunter briefly thought of the few dates he had actually been on- for some reason the thought made him more nervous.

Dean looked down at his menu, telling himself to calm down because it was just Cas. He told it to himself several times before he could bring himself to look at the other man. "What looks good to you?"

"I do not need to eat, Dean." The look on his face was odd, there was no look of confusion he was used to. If anything he looked amused.

"Just because you don't need to doesn't mean you can't." He raised an eyebrow. The angel still looked amused.

"There were a lot of negatives in that sentence." A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

Dean chuckled. "Since when do you have a sense of humor?" The human looked back down at his menu.

"What I find humerus does not translate well." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Just pick something so they don't think I'm starving you." Cas cocked his head to the side in the usual Cas manner.

When the waitress came back to their table she smiled at them, eyes lingering on the angel then the human before asking them if they were ready to order.

"A bacon cheese burger." Dean closed the little book before handing it to her.

"And to drink?" She asked, writing his order down in the pad.

"Pepsi." She turned to Cas.

"And you?"

Castiel had not yet looked away from his companion. "I would like the same." She jotted it down, she picked up his menu up off the table before walking away leaving the two men alone.

They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity, Cas never taking his eyes off of the young hunter. Dean shifted uncomfortably under his friend's gaze before the angel spoke.

"Are you going to ask me or should I just tell you?"

"Ask what?" Dean looked out the window, at the pedestrians and the slow moving traffic. He knew what his friend meant but he had decided earlier that he wasn't going to pester the older man with little things like that when he had such bigger problems to deal with. The Civil War for example.

Castiel leaned in, laying his arms on the table. "Do you not wish to know?" Dean tried not to look at his companion, not wanting him to know that the question was driving him crazy.

The way he saw it, if it was merely a dream then he needed to figure out why he was having chick flick dreams staring Castiel. If it was not a dream then he needed to question why all of the information had not weirded him out and why the kiss has felt so perfect. If he was completely honest with himself he was afraid of the answer.

"Dean," the man tried to ignore the tingling feeling he was beginning to get when his angel said his name.

Wait. His angel? When did Cas become his angel? Oh God...

"You need to know. It is important." Dean looked away from the window to his friend.

"Yes I visited you in your dream. I was unsure how else to tell you." He fidgeted with the cuff of his coat. "You need to know how deep our bond truly goes."

At that moment the waitress returned to their table with their food. Dean hadn't noticed the drinks were already there and wondered when they had arrived.

"Two bacon cheeseburgers." She set the plates before them. "Enjoy." She left them with their food.

Dean felt awkward. Somehow having his suspicion confirmed make him feel vulnerable. Exposed. Castiel was busy examining a french fry.

The memory of Cas's lips on his own came flooding back to him. He could almost feel the warmth again. He remembered the star, Cas's speech, every look that had felt as though the angel could see right through him and all of his bullshit, every gay joke Sam had sent his way... His vision swam.

"So," Dean tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. "You are... a part of me?" He had to choke the last part out, grateful for the Pepsi he used in attempt to clear his throat. He knew he must look like a deer in headlights and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears.

"Yes. My Grace and your soul are- intertwined if you will. When I repaired you I used part of my Grace to hold you together." A smile appeared on his face, eyes baring into Dean's, fry forgotten in his hand. "You still have a part of my Grace." Dean nodded slowly, taking another drink.

Cas turned his head ever so slightly. "You have another question." Dean looked down at his plate, playing with his own fries.

"Why did you kiss me?" It was quiet, barely over a whisper. The angel finally took a bite out of the fry he had been playing with.

"Because I wanted to." He ate another fry. "Why, did you find it unpleasant?"

A small part of Dean wanted to lie. He wanted to tell Cas that he had not enjoyed it and that he never wanted it to happen again but he knew the angel would know the truth.

"Can we talk about this later? In private?" Cas nodded, popping yet another fry into his mouth.

"Try the burger." Dean picked up his own as Cas did. Obediently he took a bite and Dean nearly dropped his. The look on Cas's face was pure ecstasy. The angel smiled around his mouthful and closed his eyes. When they fluttered back open the beautiful blue was rolled back. Dean silently thanked God the angel hadn't moaned.

Mental images bombarded the human's mind of other things thar would make the solder of the Lord react that way again making him blush. It was the longest meal of his life but he had never felt so fond of bacon cheeseburgers.

...

When they left the little diner the sun had already set. He had to tell himself to focus on driving and not on the reaction to the food Cas had.

Images of Cas taking off his trench coat and shirt, exposing all of that tender flesh. Every movement awkward and jerky through lack of experience. The way he would blush and try to look away but Dean would force him to look him in the eye as he undid the angel's dress pants...

No! Driving! Eyes on the road or you'll hurt Baby! He scolded himself.

Castiel finally free of his clothing with the exception of his blue tie which Dean would use to pull the angel closer for a kiss. It would start out innocent and slow but he would slowly begin to show the angel his need. He would hold him close with one arm and use the other to cup the other man's jaw before running his fingers through the unruly feathery darkness that was Castiel's hair. Gently he would tug and the angel would make the sweetest noises for Dean and Dean alone...

NO DEAN! BAD! VERY BAD! Angrily he smacked the steering wheel. Repeating 'no, Dean, bad' like a mantra he drove the silent angel back to his motel room.

Oh God. He was going back to Hell.

...

When they were back inside the room Dean expected Cas to demand they talk about the elephant in the room but he didn't. He merely sat on the edge of the bed as if nothing were going on. He contemplated on not bringing it up but it was Cas, not Sam, and he really didn't want to lie to the angel.

Rubbing his mouth he sat down next to the angel. "Look," Cas stopped him before he could say any more by holding up a hand.

"You do not have to talk about it if you do not wish to." He placed his hand back in his lap. "I understand." He looked upset.

"No, we need to talk about it. You need to know that I did like it, that it felt right. But you also have to know that I'm confused by it. I've never felt like this toward s man."

Cas looked at the hunter. "I am not a man, Dean. I am an angel of the Lord." A small smile already playing along his lips.

"I know that. Your vessel, on the other hand, is male. So unless you are really a bearded lady who tapes her boobs down," he held up his hands, "I'm out of my element."

Cas looked to the floor, his shoulders slumped. "I understand."

Dean placed a hand on his shoulder. "What I'm trying to say is I need time to get used to it."

Cas looked up, into Dean's green eyes. "I can wait for as long as you need me to."

"Thanks, Cas."

_Extra credit goes to whoever knows where the comment about all of the negatives comes from._


	4. Burning Bridges

_I just wanted to thank all of you who are reading this. It makes my day knowing people seem to like it. The information about Sam's childhood comes from John Winchester's Journal by Alex Irving._

Chapter 4 Burning Bridges

Castiel stood beside Dean's bed, staring down at the man as he slept. He couldn't help but notice how much younger he looked while he slept, though he had also noticed the same thing happened to Sam so he guessed it was a human thing. Still, he looked different, more at peace. The angel turned his head to the side, worry drawing lines on his face.

He knew it was all his fault. Anything that Dean had said earlier that evening was a lie. He knew that the only reason the man thought he liked the angel in more than a platonic way was because Cas felt that way towards him and Dean was only feeling that through the Grace that was within him.

The man had once asked him if he had ever done any 'cloud seeding' and he had told him he had never had occasion. It was true, Castiel was had not been with anyone, angel or human, did not mean he did not have urges... He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot thinking about the diner and what had been said when the two returned. Of course it had been Cas' feelings that shone through, not Dean's.

Nervously, he rubbed the back of his neck. He needed to ask somebody. Who would know about things like this? As far as he knew he had been the only one to attempt it but he had to try, didn't he? He had to know the truth- was Dean only feeling what the angel felt through the Grace they shared or was it possible that the hunter also had feelings for him in return? He knew who he had to talk to about this.

With a rustle of wings, Castiel was gone.

Heaven Of course he would be here, it was his home after all, no matter what he said. Everything was so white and pristine it was almost blinding in comparison to the dirty dark world of the mortals. He knew that the one he needed to console with frequently returned to Heaven though technically it was no longer his home. Castiel knew exactly where to find him.

The realm of angels was much bigger than Earth, hundreds of times so, and was the perfect place to hide if you knew where to go. Even from the other angels. The niche was carved between two realms by angel magic, vaguely he wondered if Gabriel had made it. He had never asked. Entering the realm he saw the angel who he sought. Of course he would be here.

"Balthazar." His brother was laying in a hammock, swaying slightly, enjoying the simple outdoor scene before him.

"Ah, Castiel!" Balthazar sat up slightly, watching as his younger brother approached. "I wondered when you would come along, asking for my support in this war." He smiled ever so slightly. "The answer is no." He laied back down, his hands resting behind his head/

"That is not what I have come to ask." Castiel looked around quickly, making sure they were alone. "I have come to speak to you about Dean."

Balthazar stopped the hammock from swinging with a snap of his fingers. "Let me guess, you are infatuated with him?" Castiel looked away from the direction of his brother. Of course he would already know.

Balthazar waved dismissively. "Come on, I could smell the pheromones from the two of you up here." He let out a small laugh. Castiel's eyes went wide, just the way Dean's did when he had been caught in a lie or doing something he knew he should not have done. The elder angel continued, "I'm going to assume that you have not come to brag so it is safe to say that you have come for advice."

Cas sat on the grass and let out a long sigh. "When I raised him from perdition I used my Grace to repair him..." The memory of Dean suspended from meat hooks, his body and soul broken, screaming for his brother made him pause.

"And you want to know if his feelings are yours." Balthazar got out of his hammock preferring next to his little brother in the grass. He gave Cas a confused look for a moment before realization had dawned on him. "Oh yes, I forgot that you were innocent."

Castiel looked down at the ground beneath him. "Why is that?" His brother asked, Cas could feel the smirk that he was sure was on his face.

"Never had occasion." Cas muttered. His hand went back to his neck. Balthazar lifted a questioning eyebrow but let it drop.

"So what did you want to know?" Castiel glanced up at his brother,

"I only wished to know if it was possible if he is only experiencing my emotions." He absently picked at the grass.

Balthazar thought about it for a long moment. "How much Grace did you use?"

"Enough to repair his body, mind, and soul." The elder of the two pulled a face that rivaled a sturgeon's.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it. Sure it was enough to bond the two of you but not enough for him to pick up on your need. There would have to be some part of him that feels the same or he wouldn't act on it. After all Dean Winchester is a passionate man," he let out a laugh," if you are a woman. Your vessel is good looking but you are lacking certain appendages if you know what I mean." He laughed again. Angels were neither male nor female, something the human's did not understand.

Castiel sighed before standing once again. "Thank you, brother."

With the fluttering of wings, Castiel was gone.

Balthazar let out a low whistle. "What do you know, little Cassie's in love."

...

Dean couldn't sleep. Everytime he closed his eyes Sam stared back, his eyes dead and a cruel smile on his lips. He didn't want to be the one who put a bullet in his brother's head but he knew if Sam's rampage continued it would have to be him. He knew he would be the one who had to put the end to all of the unnecessary deaths the Campbell's had caused. He didn;t need to dream about it as well.

He sat up in bed, rubbing a hand down his face. Glancing at the alarm clock sitting beside his bed he let out a groan. It was only three. Dragging himself out of bed, he made his way to the bathroom. With a fluttering of wings, Castiel was behind him.

"Hello, Dean." Not expecting it, the hunter jumped, clutching his chest.

"Cas!" Dean turned to face the angel, hand still over his heart as it pounded. "You really need to work on not sneaking up on people." Cas gave him a sideways look. Turning back around to face the toilet Dean mumbled something along the lines needing a moment to be human.

Castiel backed out of the bathroom, giving the hunter his he forgot that humans needed to do things angels did not need to do. Using the bathroom was one of those things. He sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Dean to finish.

Could Balthazar be right? He couldn't help but wonder if it were possible that Dean really did have feelings toward him. Sometimes it felt as if he did not deserve the man's affections. He couldn't stand not knowing. He supposed it could be possible, after all he did not use much Grace... Dean walked in, interrupting the angels thoughts. Cas looked up, noticed Dean was only wearing his underwear, and looked back down at his hands.

"How are things in Heaven?" The hunter asked, sitting at the edge of his own bed.

"I went to visit Balthazar. I did not check on the war." Cas said, not looking up from his hands. Dean wanted to push the subject but thought better of it by the intense look on the angel's face. Whatever Balthazar had said it must not have been very good.

They sat in silence for a short while, each reflecting on his own thoughts. Cas still worrying that Dean could never really love him; Dean on the thoughts he had driving back from the Diner.

...

Around five Dean did fall back to sleep. Sam threatened to invade his dreams again but Castiel kept the nightmares away with a touch of the forehead.

He was back in the field again, Castiel's star still dominating the sky as if no time had passed. He sat on the hood of the Impala, a beer in one hand. He stared up at the sky, marveling at the miracle before him. It was beautiful, breathtaking. A part of him. It was a strange feeling knowing that something bigger than life was a part of him. It made him feel very small.

"From what I understand, the last person to have Grace within her was the Virgin Mother, and that was temporary." Suddenly Cas was beside Dean, also looking at the sky. That piece of information made him feel special, but still insignificant in comparison to a sun, and an angel of the Lord.

Not for the first time, Dean questioned the fate of his family. Why did it always have to be them? Why couldn't they have the apple pie life while some fool who wanted to be a hunter got stuck with all of the 'glory'? Why did it always have to be a Winchester?

"You won't like the answer." The angel did not look away from the sky but Dean got shivers thinking that he could read his thoughts. With a sigh, Castiel looked at his hands. "When the Earth was born my Father asked us, his perfect children, to bow before his newest creation- man. They were flawed in many ways, including murderous as we saw from Cain killing his brother Able. The angels, believing they had no free will, did as Father asked and bowed before man. All of the angels with the exception of Lucifer." Castiel looked up from his fingers but did not look at Dean. ""Lucifer loved God more than anything and was always singing his praise. He was God's favorite, the most beautiful of us all. When he denied God, refused to bow before something as filthy and weak as man, Michael sought a fight in attempt to prove his devotion to his Father. God intervened, promising Lucifer no harm would come to him if he bowed before man and loved them. Lucifer denied once more. He could not bring himself to love anything the way that he loved God. He was cast out of Heaven and God promised Michael, during the end days he would be granted the fight he had sought." Cas paused remembering the events.

"Not that I'm not grateful for the history lesson but what does that have to do with us?" Dean asked, looking at the angel as if he had never seen him clearly before. Why was it that he kept forgetting how old and powerful his angel was?

"Because God promised something to Lucifer as well. When the time came he would fight his brother he would have a vessel. A vessel that would be just for him. A vessel that would not fit any other angel the way it would Lucifer." Cas finally looked at Dean. "Sam."

"What?"

"Yes, Sam. Another Winchester would be the vessel for Michael. A brother. We did not know about Adam so we had assumed it was you.

Dean's mind reeled. Sam was Lucifer's true vessel? Is that why Nick was falling apart? "You mean the way Jimmy is your vessel?"

"I have no true vessel. No other angel does. Anyone of his blood line would do- his daughter for example. Lucifer is the only one." He gave Dean another soul searching look.

The more he thought about it the more it made sense. As a child so many things had happened to him. The Shtriga, Miss Lyle kidnapping him, Silas, Anderson, the skinwalker... His thoughts were going too fast to focus on the details. A migraine began to form behind his left eye. preferring not to think about it any longer, Dean took a drink of his forgotten beer and looked at the sky. Was it just him or did the star seem to be brighter?

Cas continued to stare at the older Winchester, pieces of his conversation with Balthazar replaying in his mind. 'Dean Winchester is a passionate man.' He was passionate wasnt he? Strong? Compassionate. Loving. 'I could smell the pheromones from here.' Was it that obvious? How many of his other brother's knew? 'There would have to be, at least, some part of him that feels the same way.'

Cas watched Dean take another drink, paying attention to the way his lips formed around the bottle. When the man lowered the bottle Cas quickly grabbed the side of his face, turned it to face him and pressed his lips against Dean's.

Dean couldn't deny he liked the way Castiel's lips felt against his. He didn't mind the fact they were chaste, it was still nice. When Cas tried to pull away, Dean kept him close using the angel's tie as leverage

And he woke up.

Rubbing his eyes, Dean sat up. Castiel was standing beside the bathroom door, his eyes wide and unruly black hair even more out of control than normal. "I can not do this to you." He wrang his hands, eyes darting all over the room.

Dean kicked off the blankets before striding across the room. "Cas! Cas, what's the matter? What's wrong?"

"It's my Grace." Cas backed himself against the wall. "You are feeling what I am through my Grace. These feelings are mine, not yours." His lower lip trembled before a tear escaped. Dean wiped it away using his thumb.

"Listen Cas, I'm not going to deny that this is strange. I have never been attracted to a man the way that I am attracted to you. actually, I've never been attracted to a man," he smiled. "But they are my own feelings. I know it." He had rested his hand on the angel's cheek but he moved it lower toward his chin, using his thumb to slightly open Castiel's mouth, before claiming his lower lip as his own.

He'd show Cas what he meant to him. He would prove his love.

There was no turning back, all of the bridges burned away.

_I had planned a lemon for this chapter but I don't want to up the rating so I will add it as a separate entry. _


	5. Sing a Song of Solomon

_I want to thank everyone who has read this and for all of the love I have received from Sweet Ecstasy! Thank you for all of the reads, the rereads, and so forth! It really makes my day! On a sour note this chapter needed to be a little angsty for the sake of the overall story. Please don't hate the poet, hate the muse! Also no hate for the blasphemy! It needed to be done!_

Chapter 5: Sing a song of Solomon

Sam smiled, his grin a shadow of its former self. No light shown behind his eyes and too many teeth were showing.

"Dean, Dean, Dean," the smile grew wider as he circled his older brother. "Hooking up with an angel? That just might land you back on the rack."

Trying to be subtle, Dean looked for an exit. From what he could tell they were in something like Bobby's panic room. Metal walls, concrete floors, and a large metal door. The walls were spray painted with sigils- a few he didn't recognize. Where was he?

"Sodomy is against God's way. Unnatural. I wonder what the punishment is for sodomizing an angel?" Sam clicked his tongue. "Disgraceful."

"Whoa, Sammy. Who is the unnatural one here? Keep in mind which one of has a soul." There was no exit other than the giant door behind his brother. Shit. He was no match for roboSam if it came to a fight.

"I know I'm damned. My soul is still in the cage. When my meat suit dies it will still be in the cage. Nobody will save me like Castiel saved you." His grin faltered. "I will spend the rest of eternity with Lucifer." Sam stopped circling his brother to stand before him. "But it looks as if all of the Winchesters are going to be in Hell. Dad for making a deal with a cross-roads demon; Adam for saying yes to Michael before I dragged him down with me; and you for sleeping with an angel." He laughed and it was a hallow sound.

"So you're going to kill everything in your path until your tossed back into the Cage?" Dean asked, unable to stop himself. At that moment he missed his little brother's bitch face. If Sam would have had a soul and Dean had made that comment he would have been given the bitch face. That face became the icon for Sam's soul- it was a symbol of caring. This new Sam couldn't care even if he wanted to.

"Don't you understand? I'm still killing monsters; still saving people. Without my soul I'm just a better hunter. With no moral dilemmas, no need for sleep, I can do the job better than any hunter." He smiled but his face was still empty. Nothing but an empty shell.

"Dean, wake up." Castiel's gravely voice shook the hunter out of his dream world, jarring him awake.

Blinking his eyes open, and the sleep away, he found himself back in the motel room. The first thing he noticed was the firm body beneath his and memories from the night before came flooding back to him. Kissing Castiel, becoming one with the angel- every thrust, every sweet noise that had escaped the other man's throat, and the declaration of love. He couldn't help but smile, it had been perfect.

"Dean, you need to wake up." Castiel poked him in the chest repeatedly in attempt to wake the sleeping hunter.

"M'awake." Slowly Dean sat up, yawning, and rubbing his eyes. He enjoyed the way his muscles felt, sore and tender. They protested him moving, wanting him to go back to sleep but he ignored it. He loved the way his muscles tensed as he stretched them out, it usual ment a fun night. In this case he had an amazing night with his angel.

Castiel was still naked, laying under him. His eyes were cloudy and there was dried liquid on his stomach. He looked as if he had a pretty good night as well. He gave the younger man a strange look, somewhere between fondness and amusement.

"I am sorry for waking you, but I must go to Heaven." He sat up as well. If any of his muscled were tender or sore in any way he didn't show it. "I must check on the health of my brothers."

"Don't you want to take a shower first?" He asked, raising his hands above his head, entertaining thoughts of a wet Castiel.

"This is urgent, Dean." Within moments the angel was dressed in his usual attire of button up, trousers, tie, and trench coat. Judging by his hair he was also cleansed of their night together.

With the sound of flapping wings, Castiel was gone

...

The scalding shower was amazing against his back. Any knots that had formed during the night were gone, washed away by the heat. It relaxed his tired body. His mind, on the other hand, was not so easy to appease. All he could think about was condemning Cas. Could the love they share be against God? It was love after all. Was it possible God would cast Castiel out of Heaven just as he did Lucifer? Could God's greatest gift be mans greatest downfall?

Somehow the water didn't feel as great as it did a moment ago. He remembered the story in the Bible about Lot and the city of Sodom. God had burned down the city for all of the sodomy that had occured there, hadn't he? The story had something in it about attempting to rape an angel but he couldn't remember the details...

Oh God he had condemned an angel of the Lord.

...

Three days passed. Three days with no sign of head nor wing of Castiel. Three days of guilt and alcohol and Dean Winchester was a mess. He knew, he KNEW, without a doubt that Cas had been thrown out of Heaven and into the Cage with Lucifer. It was all his fault.

He should have known better. He knew religion frowned upon same sex relations but at the time he didn't care. All that he had cared about at the time was being with Castiel. Guilt ran through his veins like lard. Depression was all he felt.

Lying on his side, in the fetal position and wrapped tightly in the comforter, he stared at the door hopping his angel would walk through it. is eyes were red and puffy from the alcohol and the countless tears he had shed for both the angel and his brother. He had thought about praying but couldn't bring himself to do it- nobody would answer and it would only bring more tears.

He despised being a Winchester. Loosing his mother as a small child, being raised to hunt monsters, loosing his father, going to Hell, watching his brother jump into the Cage, Sam being soulless, and now this. What else could possibly go wrong? How much more could life hand him before the weight became too much and he collapsed? Any time he was happy something was destined to go wrong. The hardest part was knowing he could never leave the life. He was never going to find that special girl to spend the rest of his life with, have kids, and grow old. Hell, he'd be lucky if he made it to forty. He was most likely going to die young and alone. Without his angel.

More tears escaped, wracking his body with sobs. "I love you, Cas. I fucking love you so much!" He cried until he had nothing more to give and fell asleep with his face buried in the pillow that still smelled like his angel.

...

The war was at a standstill. Raphiel was nowhere to be found and with no leader Heaven was once again Paradise. After meeting with angels under him, Castiel spent time with Balthazar. He told his brother everything hopping to get some advice about what to do now that Dean had proven his love. Cas did not understand human mating. What happened next? Balthazar was not much help but Cas pumped him for all the information he could get before going back to Earth more confused than when he had left.

When he arrived back in Dean's motel room he knew something was wrong. The air had a sweaty oder to it, a pungent tint that hit the angel when he flitted into the room. How long had he been gone? Bottles and cans littered the floor. Beer, whisky, bourbon, vodka, even a wine bottle sat on the table beside his bed. Dean was asleep in the bed they had shared, his own abandoned. The closer he got to the man the worse the smell was.

"Dean?" Cas climbed into the bed behind his lover, ignoring the seat soaked sheets and stench of perspiration. He was going to stay there until the human woke up. He didn't expect the man to roll onto him and hold a knife to his throat, the blade cutting in slightly.

Blinking, Dean looked at is attacker. His eyes were glazed making the green stand out. "Cas?"

The angel gazed back calmly, if not a little confused. "Hello Dean."

The man blinked again, attempting to clear his vision. Before he could stop himself he tossed the blade aside before grabbing the angel into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, Cas! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!" The tears were flowing again but he didn't care. He had his angel back and that's what mattered.

"Sorry for what?" Cas asked softly. He was not sure why Dean was so upset, nor did he know how to console him. Had he been gone that long?

The hunter propped himself on his hands to stare down at Cas. "You haven't been kicked out of Heaven?" His words were slurred slightly.

"No. Why would I be cast from Heaven?" Dean wasn't making any sense. What could he have done to have such a drastic action be taken?

"For sleeping with me." Why was Cas so calm? Hadn't they committed the biggest crime against God?

Castiel actually laughed. "Why would you think that?" Dean blinked at him.

"Sodomy is against God's way. Isn't that why the city of Sodom was destroyed?" A light of understanding shown behind Castiel's eyes. Sitting up, with Dean flailing slightly to keep his balance, Cas let out a sigh.

"Your Bible is incomplete. Books were taken out, content was edited, not to mention the hundreds of times it had been translated. I'm not saying it is not accurate I'm saying it is a small window not the full picture." He paused, lost in thought. "I'm not going to get into that though. What I will tell you is Sodom was burned for the attempted rape of two angels who was sent to cleanse the city. Yes they were sinful but that was not the reason the city was burned."

Dean attempted to make sense of what he was being told. He had believed his actions had been a crime against nature, against the Lord. He had thought he had lost the one person he knew without a doubt that he loved. He wanted to cry more but there was nothing left to cry. Seeing the distress of his lover, Cas did the one thing he knew how to do. He quoted the Bible.

"In my bed at night I sought the one I love; I sought him but did not find him. I will arise now and go about the city, through the streets and plazas. I will seek the one I love. I sought him but did not find him. The guards who go about the city found me. I asked them 'Have you seen the one I love?' I had just passed them when I found the one I love. I held on to him and would not let him go until I brought him to my mothers house- to the chamber of the one conceved me. Song of Solomon chapter three verses one through four."

Without warning Dean engulfed the other angel in another hug. "I thought I had lost you the way I had lost Mom, Dad, Sam, hell even Lisa. I can't have a normal life or a normal family but I want you to be my family and my life. If you had fallen I don't know what I'd do."

"I'm not going anywhere." It was a whisper but it was enough.

...

Cas refused to take a shower with Dean, insisting he should air out the room. Dean had made a face but showered alone. When he was done and left the bathroom, drapped in only a towel, he noticed the angel had all of the windows and the door open. Cas was sitting on Dean's bed, enjoying the sun on his face.

"You are absolutely beautiful, my darling, with no imperfection in you. Song of Solomon chapter four verse seven." Dean chuckled.

"More Solomon?" He grimaced as he dug through his duffel bag in search of clean clothes. He couldn't find any. That meant he was going to have to go to the laundry mat.

"It's the most romantic book in the Bible." Cas watched as Dean pulled on his only pair of pants and began smelling his shirts in search of a clean one. When he was fully dressed, he piled the rest of his clothes into the duffel.

"You want to go do some laundry with me?"

...

The laundry mat was small, dark, and empty. Hopping it would stay empty Dean pulled off his jeans, shirt, and socks and added them to the washing machine. He added soap and quarters before collapsing into a broken plastic yellow chair beside Cas. He rubbed his hands over his face thanking the Heavens above the lights were dim because his hangover was killing him. He hoped nobody would walk in, he didn't feel like being gawked at.

"My love is fit and strong, notable among ten thousand. His head is purest gold. His hair is wavy and black as a raven. His eyes are like doves beside streams of water, washed in milk and set in jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice, towers of perfume. His lips are lilies, dripping in with flowering myrrh. His arms are rods of gold set with topaz. His body is an ivory panel covered with sapphires. His legs are alabaster pillars set on pedestals of pure gold. His presence is like Lebanon, as majestic as the cedars. His mouth is sweetness. He is absolutely desirable. This is my love, and this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem. Song of Solomon chapter ten verses ten through sixteen." Castiel's eyes bore into Dean's, holding him with his gaze.

"I'm not sure what to say to that." Dean could feel the heat in his cheeks. He wasn't sure if Solomon had eyes because it sounded as if he had never seen a man before. He had never seen nor heard of anybody who fit that description. None the less he felt honored that Cas saw him that way.

Cas gave him a sideways look- not one of confusion but more like he was trying to look into the younger man's soul. "Then don't say anything." The corners of his mouth twitched.

Dean laughed with a shake of his head. "Your adorable, do you know that?"

"No." Dean chucked before reaching out, and cupping the back of the angels head to bring him in for a kiss.

Castiel loved the way Dean kissed him. It was heart. It was soul. It was Dean. Perfect Dean. Cas had seen his soul- everything the man had to offer. All of his flaws and insicurities made him perfect. They made him the man Castiel loved.

Cas knew what he had to do.

...

Late that night, after Dean had gone to sleep, with the help of Balthazar, he went to Hell. There was one thing he could do to prove to Dean he cared. Well two things... The hunter was in for a big surprise when he awoke.

_I just want to clear something up. Yes I know the Song of Solomon was written for Solomon not the other way around. I am aware that it is blasphemous and I have atoned for that. Once again, thank you to everyone who reads this you all are amazing!_


	6. Come Whatever May

_It is time, my dears, for our time together to end. This is the last chapter. If you would like, and if you ask nicely, I might add a little something later- an epilogue if you will. Yes you must ask for it or I will assume that you do not want it. Muahahaha._

_Let the chapter commence._

Chapter 6: Come Whatever May

For no other reason than to help his little brother did Balthazar agree to this crazy idea. His job was to get Sam Winchester into Bobby Singer's panic room and Castiel would do the rest. It seemed like an easy job, and it was, but he hadn't realized what Sam had turned into until he had to follow him around all day. All he wanted was to do the job and go back to his hidey hole in Heaven but naturally it wasn't that easy.

He followed Sam all day, invisible to the human's, in hopes of catching him alone. They went on a hunt where Sam tortured a vampire before breaking it's neck, dousing the poor creature in a combination of dead man's blood and holy water before lighting the beast ablaze. They also had multiple meetings with Samuel who wouldn't tell Sam what they were torturing the vampires for and kept Sam out of the loop of his plans. As far as Balthazar could tell Sam didn't mind not knowing what they were up to as long as he got to kill something.

It wasn't until evening that Balthazar got Sam alone in a deserted hallway in some Manor. He didn't know why they were there and didn't care. All he cared about was getting the job done. Becoming visible, he stood behind the younger Winchester and whistled. When Sam turned around the angel placed two fingers on the man's head and flitted them both to the panic room.

Bobby was waiting to tie his adoptive son down while the angel held him in place. "I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you!" Sam threatened, thrashing around trying to break free of the bonds that held him securely to the bed.

"Where's Cassy?" Balthazar asked, addressing the older man.

Bobby took a flask out of his pocket. "Hell if I know. Said something about getting Dean." He took a swig. "Personally I think Dean doesn't necessarily need to witness this but I'm not an angel of the Lord, so what do I know?"

Balthazar made a face that looked a lot like Sam's sturgeon face and nodded as if that was just fine with him. A moment later Cas appeared beside them, Dean in his wake.

"Excellent. Now the show can begin." Balthazar clapped his hands together, earning a strange glance from Bobby.

When Dean got his wits about him, he looked around at the men assembled together. When his eyes focused on Sam, they narrowed. The youngest man was still attempting to free himself from his bonds.

"What's going on here?" He asked, looking at the ones standing around.

"We are going to reattatch Sam's soul." Castiel said, taking off his belt. "It has suffered some damage in the Cage but it is still intact." Dean stared at him.

"So you're going to fix him the way you fixed me?" Dean asked, staring at Castiel. He was torn. On one hand he didn't want Cas to share his Grace with Sam. He wanted what they shared to be special, just between them. On the other hand he wanted his brother back. He hated this roboSam and wants his brother to be free of the Cage. Still, the thought of Cas using his angel magic on his brother made him feel angry for reasons he couldn't explain.

"Not exactly." Balthazar, interrupted. "You know about cars, Dean. What needs to be done is like patching up a tire and bolting it back to the car. It's simple, really." He winked at his little brother.

"Fine. Do what you need to do." He turned on his heel and stalked out of the room, fuming. After the angel's assured Bobby that if he stayed there was a good chance he would go blind from the flash of light and that they were going to put Sam into a sleep like state, did the old hunter fallow Dean into the kitchen.

The young Winchester was sitting at the table nursing a beer. Bobby grabbed one for himself and joined his adoptive son at the table.

...

The two hunters were talking about mundane things- anything other than Sam- before they hear a blood curdling yell that would be a scream but they both know Castiel's belt is in his mouth. They both acted as if it didn't bother them but it was a lie and they both knew it.

It was at the very most ten minutes between the pair of them sitting at the table and Castiel walking into the room. "Sam is sleeping," he tells nobody in particular. He gives Dean a pointed look. "May I speak with you, outside?"

Without saying a word the younger hunter stood up and walked out the door. Cas was sure he heard Bobby mutter "idjit" before Cas followed him.

The angel led them past the scrapyard and into the empty space beyond. Finding a spot among small white flowers, the angel sat down. With a sigh, Dean followed suit.

"You're angry." Cas pointed out. Dean merely shrugged, picking at the flowers and the grass. "I want you to know I did not repair Sam. Balthazar did." The hunter stopped picking and looked up. "I knew it would upset you if I did so I asked Balthazar as a favor."

Dean did not know what to say. Castiel now owed his brother because he did not want him to be angry with him. Dean, who always had a witty comeback had nothing to say. Instead of using his words he decided showing the angel his gratitude would be a better option. He moved quickly, knocking the angel onto his back, and attacked the angels mouth with his own. He ground his hips against the angel's, roughly pulled the angels hair, bit along the man's jaw and neck, and drew those sweet sounds that he adored so much from his throat. Dean reached down toward the angel's trousers but was stopped by Castiel grabbing his wrists, turned them over to where he was on top, and pinned the man down.

"I wish to try something." Castiel whispered.

"Okay. Whatever you want." Dean said, his jeans growing tight at the angel's suddon urge to dominate him.

"Close your eyes." Dean done as he was told. Castiel gently kissed the man beneath him before pressing his forehead to his lovers. Before Dean could ask what it was he wanted to do a bright light was suddenly all he could see. A warmth filled him to the point of feeling like air. Then the feelings came. Everything that he had ever felt toward the man came back and was more intense than he ever thought he could feel. Love, anger, sexual frustration, amusement, ecstasy... all of it built up to a point he thought he was going to explode.

'_Let go.' _He heard Cas' voice in his head. He did. He let go.

And exploded. The bright light turned into a million different colors. There were colors he didn't even know existed let alone could name. The heat began to subside and when Castiel pulled away he felt totally at peace.

Dean opened his eyes and everything around him had lost all of it's luster. The world was no longer bright, the sun no longer hurt his eyes, everything was dull without whatever it was he had been feeling. Castiel gazed down at Dean, his face full of concern, and his pupils very small. He noticed they were also breathing heavily.

"What was that?" Dean asked, though it was more like he breathed the question. He had never felt so good. It was like hours of mind blowing sex inside only a few moments. He had no idea how long it had lasted but he wished it had been longer. He also noticed not all of him felt amazing. He vaguely noticed he was still hard. Huh...

Castiel blushed. "I'm not sure I did it right. I've never done it before. I entertained my Grace and your soul. We became one."

Dean sat up. "Wait, didn't you tell me you had never had sex as an angel? Isn't that what we just did?" Cas ducked his head, his blush deepening.

"In blatant terms, yes. I gave you my virginity."

Grinning, Dean got an idea. Pushing the angel onto his back, the hunter straddled his hips. "I want to try something."

...

When they walked into Bobby's kitchen, the man walking into the room. He raised an eyebrow at the way their clothing was out of place, hair sticking up in every direction, bruises in places they could only be hickeys, and kiss swollen lips. He didn't say anything about it but merely told them Sam was awake.

Dean didn't hesitate to run down to the basement and to the panic room to find Sam sitting up on the cot, rubbing his wrists.

"Sam?" The younger Winchester looked up and smiled. A true Sammy smile with all the lights back on. Before he could stop himself, he launched himself at his little brother.

"Hello to you too." Sam laughed and it was a full, deep laugh. His brother was back! For the first time in months he felt whole.

They spent hours talking about what had happened while Sam was in the Cage. Sam claimed he did not remember anything about the Cage but Dean had said the same thing about Hell. He wasn't going to push, he would let Sam come to him when he was ready to talk about it.

They were a happy family once again. Maybe not for good but for right now Dean had everything he wanted. Everything he needed. Someone who loved him like a father, his baby brother, and his lover who happened to be his best friend. Life couldn't be better. When life did decide to trip him up again he'd be ready. With his family at his side he could handle anything that came his way.

End.


	7. Epilogue

_Since DyingDetective221B asked so nicely, here is the Epilogue I threatened you with. I hope you enjoy it._

Epilogue

The motel room the Winchesters had found was not one of the nicest places they had been to but it would do. I was certainly nicer than that one in Missouri that had the mice and much nicer than any place they had ever squatted in excluding that empty house in Oklahoma with that awesome shower. The best part about the room was the fact Sam was not in it at the moment- he had taken a trip to the library and anyone who knows Sam knows a trip to the library could take several hours. Dean could already think of all the ways he could fill the time.

Castiel, who was sitting beside Dean on his bed while they watched Dr Sexy M.D, looked at him, one eyebrow cocked as if guessing the hunters thoughts.

"What?" Dean asked innocently though he knew the grin on his face told the angel his suspicions were confirmed. Castiel shook his head, a small smile playing on his face.

"You know, one of these days Sam is going to walk in on us. It could possibly scar him for life." Castiel reasoned, trying to keep a straight face though the smile kept peeking through at the corners.

"Meh, let him." Dean mumbled, rolling onto Cas and pushing hm into the bed before kissing him. "Do him some good to at least see someone else having fun even if he s too much of a prude to have any himself." He said through the trail of kisses he was leaving along the other man's jaw. Castiel chuckled.

"Are you sure you are willing to scar your brother just to prove a point?" Cas asked, running his hands through the taller man's hair.

"Damn right." Dean growled before sealing Cas' lips with a kiss- a nonverbal que they were done talking about Sam.

Pulling away slightly, still close enough to ghost his lips across the other man's, he began undoing the angel's tie. "God, your beautiful."

"Jimmy is not my body, Dean, remember?" Cas reminded him, sticking his lip out in what was unmistakably a pout. Obviously he had been spending too much time with Sam.

Dean chuckled before nipping at the exposed lip. "I know, I meant all of you. Your mind," one kiss, "your heart," another kiss, "and your Grace." He smiled down at his lover. "You are beautiful in every way Cas. Skin only goes so deep, it's what's underneath that counts."

Castiel laughed. "Coming from the man who would hit on anything that looked interested in you and some who did not." Dean shrugged.

"practice, love, practice."

"Sure, whatever you wish to call it."Dean silenced him with another kiss."Your going to have to do a lot more than that if you want to keep me silent." The angel warned.

"I accept that challenge."

...

Dean had been with a lot of girls in his time, some he wished he had never agreed to, but a lot of girls all the same and none of them made him feel the way he did for the angel. He was still a little weirded out by the fact Castiel was a guy but he wouldn't want him any other way. Besides, it's not his vessel that he fell in love with it was the angel inside. He figured that must be why only two of the girls had ever had a lasting impression. Dean had never had time for a lasting relationship in fear something bad would happen to them but Cas was different. He was more capable than the hunter when it came to taking care of himself so he had no need to worry that he would die at the hand of some monster trying to get leverage over him. In Dean's eyes, Cas was perfect.

The hunter had always thought being together physically was what he needed but now he knew the truth. With Castiel they could be joined in every way possible. Mind, body, and soul. There could be no secrets between them and though at some points it did become a problem for the long run it was worth it. He knew better than anyone how toxic lies and deception were. With Cas he did not have that problem. They could be happy together with no worrys about whether the other one was loosing interest or messing around behind their back- they had complete honesty. In Dean's line of work it was nice to have a little honesty every now and then.

Sam still did not know about his brother and the angel and they had decided it was probably best, not because they were ashamed but because Sam seemed to have enough on his mind now that he was out of the Cage. Dean remembered too well what the Pit had been like and that was only four months. Sam's soul had been locked away with Satan himself for a year. He would tell him when things cooled down again. Until then Dean and Cas would meet up when Sam was gone and prove their love to one another in a way only they could. Completely.

And it was perfect.


End file.
